on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize