I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
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Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
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I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
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