the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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