p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
