two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My ass is underappreciated
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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