If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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