On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize