Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Welp...herpes.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
