this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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