its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
