I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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