just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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