So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
