i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
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I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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