why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
