Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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