took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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