office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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