her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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