Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think I am morally bankrupt
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
