K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
