what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
