youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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