He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
