In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
