what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
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I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
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If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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