i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
