Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
