In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I lost the right to judge tonight
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
