also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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