hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
