Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
