Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
