I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
