My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
