My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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