Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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