Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Also, beer. Big fan.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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