We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
