I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
