we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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