Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize