its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
