Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Are we still banned from the library?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
