sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
