i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
