Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I need to calm my uterus...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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