Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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