I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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