That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
