You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
