There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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