Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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