She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
