Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
