I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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