There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
