He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize