And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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