Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
