Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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