It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
