I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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