I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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