dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
