Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
