Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
